precious moments

When the guilt kicked in.

         The last time I got sick, I was such a baby. Yes, literally. Ryan took care of all my needs. When I can't walk because of my back that hurt after working, Ryan carried me to the bathroom. He prepared my breakfast and lunches and called me every noon to make sure I was ok and of course the baby. I am so blessed. That is what I always tell myself. It went on for days. I can see the worries in his eyes. There were times when he would caught me home still in bed. He always go straight in the bedroom to see if we were ok. When I went to target to send in my resignation, I can't barely get up. I was on strict bedrest but I just needed to be done with Target. My co-workers were all over me when they saw me. Most of them actually stopped me from quitting. I went to see my HR and she agreed that I should not quit. So I went on my short term disability. I was home, I rested and felt better.

         After a month, I thought what  am I doing? Ryan still continued to take care of me and my needs. Even dinner, even if I knew I was feeling way better. One day, as I was laying down right next to him, I stared at his face and thought, what would my mama do in my situation. I was feeling better but here is my husband, still joggling work and home to accomodate my needs. Then the guilt kicked in. I told myself, I need to do something. The next day, I woke-up at 6:00 a.m. He asked me what I was doing. I told him that starting today, we will eat breakfast together and I will  make your lunches everyday. He smiled, said, " oh thank you Sweety and gave me a kiss. I remember him throwing up that day after breakfast. He said, he never had breakfast before. I have been doing this now for almost 4 months. I could not bare to see him, cooking dinner while I was just there. Although I have a perfectly good excuse but still, I felt bad. He even did all the laundry and the ironing. Things might change after having a baby but one thing is for sure, I am sharing my part as a stayed at home wife. Sometimes I imagine those husband who come home with just a home/house.  I guess this is one of the reasons why our husbands married a Filipina .

How do I look?

       I am not really good with pictures especially now that I have gained weight. Well, I have an excuse for gaining. I haven't posted a picture here since the last one with Evan.   I felt weird updating my blog. I have not updated this for a long time. It is not that I don't have time, I just don't have  much to say. I am home most  of the time and there is nothing  exciting to share. I really love staying home though and I make myself busy all the time. That is why I don't get bored. So here we go my preggy pictures.

What kept me busy?

       After I finish all my chores (washing clothes, cleaning, cooking, ironing). I sit down for an hour or two and do my cross stitch. I really have so much patience with this craft. Sometimes I would rather do my cross stitch than being in the internet. I have this new book that I got from Michaels. It was actually paintings of flowers and someone made a cross stitch pattern off it. I think it is really neat. Underneath is the finish product that my Nonong Tonette sent me for my birthday last November 2005. It is huge though and I love it. I am thinking of having it custom framed or I may have to do it myself just like the rest of the cross stitches that I did.

       This is what I am trying to finish for the past few days, from the book that I said. Can you tell what that is? I still have a lot of roses to do and leaves but to me, it look so pretty already. In case you can't tell what it is, it's a mailbox with 3 letters in it, overflowing with flowers.

How is the baby?

        The baby is getting big and kicked so hard sometimes. I am enjoying every moment of it. Ryan finally ripped off the entire carpet in his room. The carpet smelled bad (cat pee). I will post some pictures soon. As far as the things that we need, we really don't need much anymore. Thanks to Lanie and John, they gave us cabinets, a car seat, 2 strollers, bassinet, a rocking chair and a swing. We have 3 infant car seat for the 3 cars now. One from Lanie, one from someone and the hospital that I will deliver the baby with will give us another one. We are so blessed with the generousity with the people around us. I know that blessings will come there way as always.

        Lan, I will take a picture of the baby's room as soon as it is done but with Ryan working, I don't know how long. I want you to see how everything is in his room from the stuff that you gave us. Thank you once again.

        Till next time folks !

The year 2006

      Hi guys !!! I am glad that the Christmas season is over and it is now back to normal. I have never been invited to parties that much since I came here in the US 4 years ago. My problem was always what to wear. Especially the people that invited us are in the same circle of friends. It seems like the clothes that I bought a month ago wouldn't fit me anymore. With my size, I needed to buy maternity clothes because if I wear regular clothes and  buy 1 or 2 sizes higher, I would look like a "losyang". The only places that really grew is my stomach and my face. The rest amazingly stayed the same. Just imagine me wearing an XL pants with little legs and thighs? Not a good sight. Besides the clothes that Ryan picked are kinda cute. He also said we can keep it for next time.

     It seems like yesterday that we started 2006. It was beyond my wildest dream that I will be here in the US, married and happy. Ten years ago, I was only 18 years old, in second year college, trying to be a teacher and dreaming of what does the future has for me. It's funny and 2 years from now, Ryan and I will hit our big 30.

Christmas 2006

    We were invited by a friend for a party at her house. It was nice and we all had fun. The food was really good. What did I get for Christmas? To me I got a lot. First, I am carrying our son, so that is more than enough present for me. Ryan gave me a karaoke set, with 2 built-in microphones in it, that plays any CD/DVD/VCD etc. in it. Then he also got me a subscription of Netflix so that I can watch movies at home and would not be bored. Although I have been telling him that I am not. A pair of running shoes and my favorite, a Samsung Camera phone so that now I can talk to my friends. We used to have pre-paid but since he always checks on me every lunch time, it started getting expensive because we sometimes would buy 2 calling cards in a month. It is already one months worth if we have the network.  So we finally have the network now.

     I really did not get him much. He always give me a hard time every Christmas. Whenever I ask him what he wants, his reply is always , I don't need or want anything but I got him something anyway. I got him a pair of shoes, clothes, a pair of shades that looks so nice on him but his favorite was when I put a bow on my stomach for Christmas.

New Year

   We got invited for another party again. We stayed overnight there and it was fun. For us, Christmas and New Years were no fun at all before. When you work retail and all those bitchy, arrogant guest, it was enough to make your day. All we can think about was for the season to be over. It's sad but true. Retial workers don't enjoy their Christmas as much as other workers. Some of them even get counselling for depression after the holiday. I am glad Ryan got out of there in time and now doing something that is in line with his school. Me? I am glad I am somehow out of there too. Imagine, running around with a 6 month old belly. The guest? some of them don't care. This is Ryan's first Christmas and New Year in 6 years and mine my first in 3 years. Plus Ryan had 4 days off so we were all over the place. By the way, there is another party this Saturday. I told Ryan, we better hurry up with the house so that we can also invite people over.

Baby Names

    We have not decided what name to give our baby but one thing is for sure, Matthew had to be there. Ryan's grandpa is a Matthew, then Dad's middle name is a Matthew, Ryan's middle is another Matthew, so besides my maiden name as the baby's middle name, he needs to have a second name that is Matthew. I told him, if you want to keep the tradition going (the matthew), we also have a tradition of our own. He was fine with it.

    I have a list here of the top 100 names of 2006 which includes,

Evan - Geri's little baby

Caleb - Sara's little baby

Matthew Connor - Manang Banot's little baby among the 100.

    There are so many names. Any suggestions?

Baby Shower Update

    There is not much I can share. All I know is we were supposed to have it in our house but since we still have a lot of constructing to do, so my mother-in-law and father-in-law went to the church that we always frequent and asked if they can rent one of the hall there. Since we are parishioners, they granted her request and we can use it for free. I have given her list of names and addresses from work but she hasn't really updated me with anything yet.

    Guys I am feeling nervous and excited at the same time. So as Ryan. We will buy a video camera so that we can record all the baby showers etc. and atleast have a copy and send it to the Philippines. It is really getting close.

     Have a wonderful week ahead of you and thanks for reading.

The Jim Brickman Concert Review

    We gave it 5 stars . It was beautiful. It was very romantic and we held hands during the entire concert. Unfortunately, it was a big no no to take some pictures. Although there were some people who snapped their cameras. Pero I am a law abiding citizen, so I didn't even bother. That was indeed a beautiful birthday present.

     Yesterday, we finally had the time to get rid of Ryan's playstations, tv and games from the baby's room. We wanted to replace the carpet and have it thoroughly cleaned before the baby arrives. It was fun as Ryan was looking through the closet and tried to get rid of the stuff we didn't need. We really don't have that much storage because we don't have a basement and the garage doesn't have that much room. We were hoping to transfer them in the other bedroom. Now my next assignment is to arrange the spare drawers so that more papers and school supplies can go there and then we can use the extra room/closet for the stuff that we got from the baby's room. There isn't much. Mostly in boxes. It was Ryan's calculus books (also science books and some accounting books) and some ofour  wedding accessories. Three boxes of cards and letters that Ryan sent me when I was in the Philippines. He was reading some of them so loud and it was funny remembering them and two boxes of outdoor pre-lit Christmas trees that we decided not to put out this year. There is so much going on in the house right now. The bathroom being renovated and once we start the floor in the baby's room, the bed has to come out and it will be placed in the living room again just like the rest of the bathroom fixtures.

Bathroom in progress

                                                              

       

         

The bathroom renovation had been going on for I don't even know how long. Well, they did'nt really made out their minds until recently. For the past months, Ryan had been spackling (sp)  the holes that the previous owner made. Then, he painted and sanded it down until recently they have decided that the walls had to come down because the sanding and the spackling were not helping. The wall looked so beat up so they tore it apart. Ryan have thought of it before but it was still Dad's decision. They also realized that the walls were not well insulated for winter. No wonder it gets too cold in the bathroom when we take showers even if the heater is on. They also insulated it, Dad did the rewiring and Ryan bought some dry walls. They also got rid of the old bathtub and shower and just recently put up the new ones. I love it actually. Now I can take baths (well after we have the baby). Before, I can only lay there for 5 mins. and the water gets so cold right away.

      Anyways, Ryan asked me last night if I wanted the small tree up. I was excited for Christmas this year because we bought a big huge Christmas tree last year but when I saw the stuff that are in the living room I decided not to put it up this year. He asked if the small tree can go out so I gave in. We are not even done shopping yet. I got Ryan a couple of things onine and he got me stuff online too. We hope to find time this week or maybe next week to go shopping.

     Many people had asked me, even people at work,  if I am bored at home but one things for sure, I am enjoying/loving  my stay home... not bored at all !!! I will let you know if I ever will.

We Cheated

      Everytime I go to work to pick-up my check or even when we last went to the Baby Expo, the question that we usually come across are/were ,  "have you cheated yet?" or "are you going to cheat?". I never understood it before until one co-worker asked me if we are going to find out the gender of our baby. I told her that we are going to. We need to be ready of course and she cheerfully said, "cheaters".

      We were scheduled to go for another ultrasound last Saturday, that was my 2nd in a hospital because 3 prior ultrasounds were done in my doctor's clinic . I wasn't too happy because Ryan made the appoinment and he made it 6:45 a.m. His excuse was, he could not wait that long if we have to do it later that day and besides that was the weekend before my birthday. He wanted to do something else. I agreed although the thought of waking up so early wasn't making me happy.  Got up so early. Drunk plenty of water and off we go for the hospital in Indiana. We got lost because the direction given wasn't correct but we arrived there on time anyway. I got called in even before I sat down in the waiting room. I was so excited. I was torn between if it's a boy or a girl. Ryan wanted a boy so much while I really don't care much but if I were to choose I would like to have a boy. I grew up with 2 elder brothers who were my defenders to all the bullies in school. He also said, if it is a girl then he loves her the same. 

     After almost an hour of measuring , the technician asked me if I was with someone else. I told her that my husband is in the waiting room. Ryan came with a smile on his face. The technician commented how active our baby was that sometimes she can't get a good picture of the baby because of the way he/she moves. Now the time that we have been waiting for. For the first 10 mins. our  little pumpkin did not cooperate. He/she would not open his/her legs at all. The tech advised me to go to the bathroom to pee. I told her, I needed a time alone with our baby. We needed to talk . In the bathroom I rubbed my stomach and told him/ her how important it is to us to know his/her gender so that for daddy and mommy to prepare. I felt some kick and I knew we were ready. Went back in and preceeded. After 5 mins. of trying to see what it is. The baby finally split open his legs. Ryan said, I knew it, our first baby is a boy. He actually saw his ding dong first. I saw so much joy on his face. The technician took a picture of our baby's ding dong and Ryan had been looking at it for the past 4 days. He said, he will keep it and when our son turns 21, he will show it to him and say, " son this is the first picture of our ding dong". Forgive him, he is just too excited.  Called Lanie on our way home. She was so excited herself. Lan, will see you on Dec. 15 pohon. Now our job is to give him a name. We have not decided yet.

Ger and Judy remember this? This was from Ger's baby shower this year that Judy organized for her. I thought it was sooo cute that I asked Ger and Judy if I could have it. I placed it in the second bedroom, will probably transfer it in the baby's room.

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My birthday

     I love decorating the cards that I got from him from the past years. Although he thinks it is taking so much space on the table but I beg to differ.

Front: What did I ever do to deserve an amazing wife like you?

Inside: Happy Birthday with all my love.

Ryan's note inside:   Sweety Love,

                     I love you so much with all my heart and I am sorry if sometimes I disappoint you. I will always try to do better. I love you so much and I am happy that we are finally starting a family.

                                                                          yours, Baby Love

       Trust me cutie, I don't know how many times I have disappointed you.

       We did not do much for my birthday. Dine out, went shopping as I have mentioned above. Of course we stayed somewhere for 2 days in Indiana. It was a nice getaway. We have an upcoming event with Jim Brickman that was part of my birthday gift on December 10th. On my birthday too, we went and register at Target. So you can check that out if you are interested. I am just so happy  and contented that I really don't need or want anything this year. I got what I ask for. A wonderful husband and soon a son.